I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
