I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
