I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
