Your tits are I can't wait for
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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