You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
