Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
