why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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