i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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