thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
