So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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