I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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