Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
