shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
