In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
