im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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