Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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