Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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