is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
