last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
