k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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