you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
