I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
