we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My life is pants optional.
I'm always down for nudity.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
