the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
