I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
