ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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