I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
