Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
