My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
