he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
