what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
