idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
