had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
