Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
