Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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