i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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