yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
