"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
