so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
