Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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