You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
