My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
