This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
