Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
