It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
