hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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