I just pynch a tree in the face
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
