That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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