On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
