so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
