I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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