rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize