Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
