id be glad to
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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