if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
