My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is it because I queefed?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
